NO WE'RE NOT! Just to set the record straight! I don't know what it is but for some very strange reason a lot of people think that Bill and I are swingers. In our early days of dating we used to hang out at a bar in Walnut Creek where my daughter, Lauryn, used to bartend. People asked her all the time about us - I just don't get it; maybe because we like to have fun? No, that cannot be the reason, I mean, everybody likes to have fun!
In preparation for my first burning man Bill warned me that there was a couple in our group that had an open marriage and he was sure this guy would be all over me...well, he was very polite about it but he made no bones about the fact that he was very interested. We are still friends with this couple and have been to burning man, the hash, his house, our house and many social gatherings together without either of us feeling uncomfortable. That's their lifestyle and they don't push it on us.
Since we have been full-timing it seems as if there are more people out there into this "swinging" lifestyle - sometimes they say something, sometimes they don't and we just try to make it apparent that we are a monogamous couple. Recently, though, we befriended a full-timing couple that I had an inkling about but no one mentioned it so we went with the flow. eventually it came up and even after I made it clear we were not interested the wife wouldn't leave it alone and it eventually became so uncomfortable that we had to part ways, canceling some fun plans we had made with them.
I just want to know - do we have to wear a sign or something???
Ok... so I can totally see folks pondering if you might have some sort of open relationship. You guys emit such a fun, playful, open minded and sensual vibe that is quite common in the swinging lifestyle.
ReplyDeleteIt's a shame your new friends couldn't just accept that it's not the case, and leave things comfortable enough to continue enjoying each other's company.
I have to agree however, since we went full time we've encountered far more open relationship folks 'out in the wild' than I ever had before as an activist. I think it makes sense.. once you think alternatively about some aspects of your life, it's easy to start applying similar thoughts to other areas.
And for the record.. no swingers here either. Although we do identify as polyamorous but on indefinite hiatus (ie. we're functionally monogamous, and have been for years.) We too have had to hold boundaries with others once they find out.